"New year, same me, because I was never the problem", No. You are always the problem.

"New year, same me, because I was never the problem."

Do you really want to give someone or something else the power to be the problem in your life?
That's giving them the satisfaction they want.

Imagine a person walks up to you, saying, "I possess the capability to influence your decisions, your way of speaking to me, and the way I affect your life."

Sounds like nonsense, right?

Actually, it's not.

Your circle of concern includes everything you care about but can't control, like the weather or other people’s actions. On the other hand, your circle of influence focuses on what you can change—your reactions, decisions, and mindset.

As soon as you give somebody else the authority to be the problem in your life, you've not only developed an unhealthy mindset, but you've also taken things out of your own hands. This is where the imbalance happens: you expand your circle of concern but neglect your circle of influence.

When that happens, you not only lose your ability to self-improve but also forget how to solve problems, because, apparently, it's "not your problem."

This realization hit me during a workshop on Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Our teacher had us analyze different situations and decide whether they were within our control or not. One example stood out to me: bullying. While most saw it as something beyond their control, I realized that how I react defines whether someone’s actions affect me or not. I was the only one who said it was something I could control. That mindset can apply to so many situations in life.

Let’s think of normal, day-to-day scenarios to understand how to expand our circle of influence and minimize our circle of concern.

Imagine your boss is always yelling at you. You might think it’s because he has something personal against you. But what if you’re actually the problem? Perspective really matters. What if you're the one making mistakes? Instead of cursing your boss or playing the blame game, use it as an opportunity for self-exploration, reflection, and growth.

In a way, you're right: you were never the problem. But saying that itself becomes the problem when it closes the door to growth.

So this is to urge you to stop saying, "I was never the problem." Sure, in some situations, you weren’t—like when the Ferris wheel stopped working while you were still on it (yikes! That Ferris wheel needs to chill). But it’s important to make sure your influence on the problems in your life remains consistent and widespread so that you can solve and control them, rather than letting them control you.

So, what steps will you take to ensure that nobody and nothing else gets to influence your life? What steps will you take to make sure you are the one in control of your life, instead of your problems controlling it? Reflect on that, and comment and discuss your answers below—I’d love to interact with you! I’m a bit late, but have a wonderful year, everyone, and make sure you own it!